Destiny Ending or Fateful Fall; Do you Spend Intentional Time
on your Relationship?
Statistically speaking, the “U.S.
marriage rate is at an all-time low—only 51% of adults were married in 2011,
according to U.S. Census Bureau statistics. (Cohn)”[1]
Much of the research regarding
strong marriages is centered on communication and maintaining that romantic
‘spark’ as well as other important factors to building a successful relationship.
I’d like to focus on the important factor of spending intentional
‘de-stressing’ time on yourself and your spouse. Stephen Covey wrote about the
concept of ‘Sharpening the Saw’ [2], which equates
to spending a short time on yourself weekly so that you aren’t wasting your
time with a dull blade the rest of the week. Your relationship requires just as
much intentional time as you do in order to perform at its peak levels.
Think of the ways you de-stress
personally; this can include catching up on shows on Netflix, hiking,
calling a good friend, reading a good book, or an hour of cardio at the gym.
Whatever stresses you out during the week, from chauffeuring children around to
all of their activities to the imminent deadlines from work and/or school,
there is something that makes it all better on the weekend even if it is reruns
of Law & Order or a soak in the tub.
A relationship needs that
de-stressing time, because it is stressed weekly just as much as the
individuals within it are. From having a lack of communication, to getting
cranky at each other from a lack of sleep, or even just not being able to see
each other during the day due to work conflicts, a relationship takes its hits.
“Stress is one of the biggest threats to
a strong marriage or relationship. Stress related to work, finances,
parenthood, or illness can prove corrosive to a relationship, insofar as it
causes one or both partners to become irritable, withdrawn, violent, or
otherwise difficult to live with. (Dew)”[3]
There are endless ways to
de-stress your relationship from a formal date night to couch crashing for a
movie marathon together. I personally enjoy these activities:
· Get outside and explore your beautiful state! Hiking, biking, exploring, going for a
drive, taking a walk around the neighborhood or to the nearest park. A little
sunshine (or moonlight) with some fresh air (or city air) does the body good.
· Treat Yourself! Take turns treating yourself to the things you
love. Whether it is a favorite game you both enjoy, a favorite place to
go, or your favorite meal/treat take time to treat yourself.
· Try Something New! Pick a skill or hobby that you are both
interested in learning, try a new restaurant, learn how to cook something
different together, take a painting class together, or try a new sport together.
- Make a list of
date ideas with your partner of your favorite activities and take turns
picking one each week. You can also refer to our other date night blog [4] for hundreds of other date night ideas
to de-stress your relationship [5].
Bibliography
Cohn, D'Vera. Pew Research Center Social and
Demographic Trends. 13 February 2013. 9 March 2015.
Covey, Stephen R. The Seven Habits of Highly
Effective People. Free Press , 1989.
Dew, W. Bradford Wilcox & Jeffrey. The National
Marriage Project - The Date Night Opportunity . May 2012. PDF Document
. 13 March 2015.
Larson, Aaron. Great Dates Houston. July 2015. 28
July 2015 .
[5] http://greatdateshouston.blogspot.com/
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